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Kelly Clarkson opens up about the darkest time in her career - Attitude
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Home Culture Culture Film & TV

Kelly Clarkson opens up about the darkest time in her career

By Joshua Haigh

Kelly Clarkson has opened up about a dark period in her career.

The powerhouse singer has enjoyed a decade-long career, and while she’s back to riding high in the charts with her new single Love So Soft, she’s revealed that a secret battle with her weight has made it hard to look back on years where she was arguably the biggest pop star on the planet.

Despite a succession of smash hit singles from her iconic Breakaway album, the American Idol winner has admitted that she was painfully unhappy at a time when she was feeling pressure from executives to stay “really skinny”.

In an exclusive interview in Attitude’s Awards Issue, she says: “When I was really skinny and unhappy, I wanted to kill myself. I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense.”

“It was a very dark time for me. I thought the only way out was quitting. I like wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time.

It was only during the release of My December, when the star infamously battled for creative control of her career, that she began to realise that things needed to change.

“There’s a song on My December called Sober. There’s this line ‘picked the weeds but kept the flowers’ and I just live my life by that because you are who you surround yourself with.

“I was around some really negative people, and I got out of it because I had a lot of great people there too. It was a case of turning around, facing them and walking toward the light,” adds Kelly.

The Stronger singer later took to Twitter to clarify her remarks, saying: “Just to clear something up. I wasn’t ever miserable because I had to be thin. I said I was miserable & as a result I became thin.

“I’ve never contemplated suicide because of my weight. I said people had no idea I was unhappy oddly enough because I appeared healthy,” she added.

Read Kelly’s full interview in the Attitude Awards issue, – out now featuring two special edition collectable covers. Buy in print, subscribe or download.