Happy birthday Wanda Sykes… her funniest moments
By Nick Bond
US comedian Wanda Sykes turns 51 today, so we thought we’d celebrate by revisiting some of the best and funniest things this awesome woman has ever said. Cancer survivor, outspoken LGBT activist and mother of two children with her French wife Alex, Sykes is all kinds of incredible – and damn funny to boot.
“Overall, the LGBT community, we’re the same, we’re like everybody else. Except we’re better-looking and more stylish.”
“It’s very simple. If you don’t believe in same-sex marriage, then don’t marry somebody of the same sex.”
“I’m a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make [Republicans] hate me more is if I send them a video of me rolling around in a pile of welfare checks.”
“It’s hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.”
“As soon as [Tiger Woods] turned pro and he won his first tournament, I read, ‘Bi-racial golfer wins first tournament.’ Oh, OK – 50/50: he’s 50% black, 50% Asian. Alright, cool. Then after he won the masters, I’m flipping through Sports Illustrated, and I read, ‘Tiger Woods is a quarter black,’ and I’m like, ‘Damn, he’s down to 25% now, man. What the hell is going on? They’re treating him like he’s milk.'”
“My wife is white and so are my kids, so now I’m a minority in my own home.”
“I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.”
“When you get married, you stand there and you say ‘Til death do you part.’ That’s what you say in the marriage vows – make that vow, stay together forever. The divorce rate is sky high, so everybody’s just lying their asses off. Why don’t we come clean? Let’s be honest, you know? Instead of standing there saying ‘Til death do you part,’ let’s just go, ‘I’ll give it a shot.'”
“Seriously, I don’t need a gun. I’m easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.”
“When life gives you lemons don’t make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique!”
And her whole two-minute riff on what it’s like to be a gay black woman is just hilarious: